Thursday, 5 March 2009

My Life is in Ruins.

I'm suffering a life crisis: For the majority of my life, I've been doing the stuff I do with the best of intentions. I've had kids, brought them up to be respectable, strive well at education (even my autistic son got a fistfull of GCSE passes), I've stayed within the law (mostly), and respected the rights of others.

But the crisis I'm having is that I've lived my life all wrong. I've taken the middle path, which leads nowhere. I'm currently unemployed and fed up of filling in endless booklets (they are not "forms") justifying why I should be helped by the state. Last month I was told I no longer qualify for jobseekers allowance because although I am actively seeking a job, I have not found one within 6 months. So jobseekers stops.
Because I took the middle path, I'm having trouble getting my autistic son supported accommodation, now he is 18. Because I worked and supported him myself, he didn't get a transitions worker to help him from inside the system. So I'm battering on the door from outside and getting not much in the way of reply.

If I took the path of crime, I would be better off. Whilst doing crime, I would be making money from the misery of others. If I was caught for my crimes, I would be put in prison where I could expect to be fed and heated, my clothes washed, etc. My wife and children would be supported by the state and probably have a social worker on tap to help out. My son would be in supported accommodation and the rest of the family in a council house, benefit would be paid by the state, council tax and rent would be reduced. Ok, life wouldn't be great, but it would be easy.

I once tried the path of hard work, becoming self employed, working long hours and days away from home, earning lots and contributing to the economy. I paid reduced tax because of loopholes that my accountant exploited, but they were legal and moral. But then Labour came in and changed the rules for self-employed contractors, they increased taxes and the amount of red tape for small businesses, so that it became less and less economically viable to run as a one-man business. I pity anyone starting in business now, because in order to be viable, you either have to make large profits in order to cover costs, or you have to bend the rules and sail close to working illegally or immorally. In the end my family collapsed due to the strain.

If I took the path of unashamed greed, I would have identified the way to make real money really easy: work in government. I would have been a councillor or by now an MP, firmly seated at the trough of expense accounts, junkets and quango salaries. I would have friends in high places. I would be able to afford expensive legal help should any of my misdenmeanours be discovered, I would be able to change the rules if some of my expenses were described as immoral, I would be able to change history if it was proven I'd taken the wrong path, I would have two houses, fully paid for by the state.

No, I took the middle way, the decent honest way, I now know I lived my life the wrong way.


  1. Delphius,

    That is one of the best posts I have seen anywhere, anytime. spot on.

    In a previous life I had a young brother in law who went to prison for Rape. No sooner was he there than he was called up to see the prison psychiatrist. (Not before time, said I)
    'Why did he do it', he was asked. Came the reply 'I drink too much because my ears stick out' was his attempt at Liverpudlian wit. They sent him off to a hospital in Oxford for plastic surgery. Surgery which was not available at the time on the NHS and which was being quoted at £5,000 privately - an immense amount in the early 70s.
    He came out of prison 2 years later, his ears duly pinned back, and was caught driving with no licence -he'd never even passed the test. He went back to prison. (There is a God apparently)
    Whilst there, he had plastic surgery to remove the tattoos he'd acquired in the previous prison. They were, allegedly, preventing him from getting a job.
    He came out again, and commenced drinking once more.
    He has never had a job in his entire life. 52 years worth so far.
    He lives, not on job seekers allowance, but to add insult to injury - on Disability Allowance, which is far more generous. His rent and rates are all paid by the tax payer.
    The reason for his entitlement to Disability Allowance? Prepare your self for this one. It will come as a shock.
    It apparently meets the definition for a lifetime disability that means he will never be expected to work for his supper.
    Remember that when you hear that a cruel Conservative Government is planning to expect the disabled to work if they can.

  2. My first comment and praise too! Thanks!

    I pulled myself up from living as a child in a single parent family to be a self-employed I.T. contractor and was earning a decent living, until Labour came in and changed the rules and made things harder. Then the ex had a breakdown due to the pressure of coping with our son, so I took time out, lived off savings and tried for 4 years to get support. Nothing doing.
    Eventually we divorced.
    I've gone from that single parent family, been successful, and have now slid into benefits and I can see where things have gone wrong. I see the difference between the benefit system of the seventies and the system now. I see injustices on a daily basis. Heres just one: why is it an autistic 18-year-old born with a disability can't get supported accommodation or a social worker but an 18-year-old girl can voluntarily get pregnant rather than go to work and get a whole raft of social workers and benefits thrown at her?
    Its no wonder there are so many mentally ill people in prison, because the system refuses to deal with them. They don't fit into society, so end up breaching asbos, or a have a history of violence. The end result is the same.

  3. This is your second bit of praise!

    Thanks for taking the time to share this. It will help many other people to see that they are not the only ones who think the World has gone mad?

    Sometimes I think that I should have dropped out of school and hit the bottle. Then I would not have the worries of mortgages and paying astronomical bills.

    The only thing that keeps me sane is knowing that without having had an education I would be completely oblivious and uncaring about this brand new strain of Fascism that is sweeping the country.

    Muster up some positve thoughts ...... You WILL get back on top!