Equality Vs Responsibility

All of this clamour over female wages vs male ones is all very worthy stuff. I agree that a woman that works at the same job for the same hours and with exactly the same employment history should be paid exactly the same wage as a man. I have no quibble with that.

However, we do know that many women decide to take a break from employment and put their career on hold. Therefore there should be no expectation of parity with a male (or female for that matter) who continues their career.

As a male I accept the premise as it happened to me. From being a self-employed I.T. contractor working away from home and earning circa 70K I took the decision to look after the family when things at home went south because I wasn't there to provide support.  It was my responsibility as a parent to be there for my kids.

Initially I took a permanent management job earning 35K. Now that's a 50% pay cut as a result of putting family before career. Do you hear me complaining? No, I accept it as a consequence of my actions. I don't throw my arms up and start screaming that people "must" pay me equivalent wages. Because I accept that the status quo is no longer valid.

From 35K I still coupldn't support my disabled son, so took a job paying less than half the original figure. Was I screaming yet? Nope, I just got on with it: supported my family and when the pressure finally got too much, divorced.

Now you'd think I would do the typical male thing and leave the family behind and jump back into my cushy 70K salary? Nope, two of the kids came with me so I became a full-time Dad. I spent all the savings I had attempting to stay at home and give the kids quality time. That was my responsibility as a parent.

Three years later, when my disabled son was in independent care, did I scream that I "must" have parity with my colleagues that I'd left a decade ago?

Don't be stupid, of course I didn't. I recognised that I was no longer current skill-wise and had to tread a different career path, just like a lot of women out there that work pert-time initially and then full time in lower-paid jobs.

What I'm trying to say is that equality is already here, it's just the expectation that needs to change. If a woman that has exactly the same skills, experience, employment history and in all respects is the equal of a man, then they should be paid the same wage.

However, if the employer exploits a weaker wage negotiation stragtegy from the woman, then that's something else entirely.

But the current clamour to compare Apples and Oranges does the cause of equality a disservice.

Alongside this is parental responsibility: IF women want to their children cared for, then who does it?

Of course the male half of the couple may take the role of a house husband (been there myself) and bring the kids up while the female half continues their career. That's fine.

But I'm seeing a greater amount of noise wanting the state to get involved in what would normally be parental responsibility. Free childcare almost 24/7, so the woman can carry on working.

But at what cost to the child if the state effectively becomes their parent? We've seen enough of children raised with few morals by amoral parents, but the state is supposed to be amoral, it is supposed not to sit in judgement. What then? An even greater number of amoral kids in the next generation....

It's the responsibility of parents and theirs alone to bring up their children. It's not for their employer to do that, it's not for the state. As I parent I recognise that I will be responsible for my kids for virtually the rest of my life. As I have done the past few weeks supporting my son in moving to independent living, or my daughter in getting her uni house.