Saturday, 6 June 2009

Parliamentary Paralysis Continues: MPs abandon ship and Barrels are scraped.

The lumbering, festering hulk that once was the good ship new labour, is languishing anchored just off of the shoreline, unable to dock. Its sails are shredded, its compass is broken. Its once devastating firepower lies rusty and forlorn, having run out of ammunition long ago. It is quarantined, its crew afflicted with a malaise that has seen it's captain ravaged by fever and indecision. With a madness worthy of Bligh himself, Captain Brown refuses to unlash himself from the wheel until the rotten, cankered hull is driven firmly onto the rocks. Officers have thrown themselves overboard to swim away to serve another captain, or sink without trace, rather than serve another minute under Captain Brown.

In a bid to rid themselves of this eyesore and put the wretched crew out of their misery, the citizens of the mainland volleyed a broadside at the hulk this week, delivering mortal blows to the rotten timberwork and forcing more crew to jump ship. The ship took on a perilous list, but Captain Brown in reply reshuffled his crew to counterbalance the effects, unfathomably promoting some of the scurviest seadogs to the Captain's table. This Sunday provides another broadside from landward as the townsfolk attempt to land a coup de grace. Hopeful that if the ship can't be sunk immediately a mutiny will be affected and the new Captain will usher in more decent, honourable actions. Even now some of Browns crew think a new Captain can careen the hull, repair the sails and once again set New Labour fair for fresh adventure. They are sadly misguided, as the hulk is no longer seaworthy.

Even now, there are rumours that a crewmember, possibly the Captain himself, has lit a fuse in the magazine to blow the once proud ship New Labour to smithereens.

It can't come a moment too soon.

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